In the Blue Letter Bible study that we are doing-taking, concerning the world evangelism class, there is negative bad stuff, but it also describes via verses, the amazing-ness of God. I love these verses John 17:25-26; Malachi 3:16-18; Ezekiel 34:11-15; John 15:15.
It describes some of God attributes. He is, what is strength, but He is also, what is gentle. The Drs teaching changed my view of God and His love. Of course I do not pretend to even begin to comprehend His power, but my picture of Him is emotional. Anyway, it does not matter that I cannot say what I think, but the thought came to me today making me realize how much I do not know or understand. What kind of a God takes a sinner, broken and lost, forgives and takes however long it takes to bring them to Him, heal their emotions and lets them know He is love not cruelty. What kind of God even cares like that? Also, that God is not in time it is No time to him. He is patient but perhaps not taking time like we do. who knows, I sure don’t.
What kind of God lets His own suffer? I realize now when I think about suffering that the realm of suffering, I can not understand like I cannot understand Jesus Christ being 100% human and 100% God. I can’t understand how a perfect Jesus Christ, learned obedience through His suffering. But I went from the horror of its reality to knowing it is safe to trust Him, because He said so. He is trustworthy. The only thing I know that can change anything and me is prayer so I will keep praying. Actually, I have been changed from the Drs words and not because I prayed, but because his words went inside me and made a huge change. Tp long to write it all out, but without me praying because I had no idea was wrong was fixable. but now I know
That He loves and wants me is all Him, not based on me but based on Him. If I think about that for very long it becomes like trying to imagine eternity, God never having a beginning etc etc. I cannot comprehend it. But it is true and like the Dr. has said more than once, it is not a fairy tale. There is no fairy tale that comes close to the good that I understand, a little bit, about God. All based on many many verses.
That the God of the universe so so gently deactivated my switch and erased my fear of Him and the fear of “being” loved with His gentle precious love is only the beginning of my understanding of His love. Who God is, what kind of love would love and want me is something I do not understand but it is as true as the fact that I exist. I love being loved and wanted by God. I will keep learning about Him, and know for eternity, never ending we will keep learning about Him. Amazing for-ever-ness. How much I do not know, but this I know, He loves me. XOXOXO