My eyes went black.

  Sunday am the Dr. referred to the disciples eyes going black, when they realized Jesus came to die, not take them into the kingdom. It brought back the memory of my eyes going black.

Our son-in-law is a surgical tech. He sees every kind of surgery their is from brain to heart to accidents.   It does not faze him in the least.

Years ago, I worked for a Dr. as his assistant. He did everything from dispensing his own medications to minor surgery.  When a patient came in, already hurt and cut open, the blood and injury did not bother me. I assisted him in stitching up etc and was fine. One day a patient came in with a cyst on their back, up above their shoulder blade. I got out all the instruments and prepped it all.  Dr. A gave the guy a local anesthesia to numb the skin etc and took the scissors with a pointed knife end and “poked” them into the guys back and started cutting his skin like paper. I went into shock and my eyes were wide open, but turned black and I could not see anything. He realized what happened and told me to go sit in his office. I knew the entire office by heart and went over to the wall and put my hand on it and went to his office and felt for the chair and sat down. It took a while for the blackness to stop and me to see again. Dr. A told me I could not work for him if I could not deal with him cutting people open. I agreed and told him i was sorry and would try again or quit. I never again looked directly at what he was doing in surgery. I knew what instruments he needed and would hand them to him, without looking directly at the “cutting”

I am not emotionally strong when it comes to a body being cut open. I realized then that I would not go far in the medical profession as I hated human suffering and pain and injury. The good that came from that was I saw how little he cared personally for the patients and just wanted to make money.  Years later it served me well, as I did not trust Jerry’s Dr’s or any medical staff to do the best for him.  I can only imagine what would have become of him if I thought “they” would do their best for him.  End of story. My eyes went black, back then.  I would not have understood what the Dr. meant yesterday if that had not happened to me all those years ago.

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