I woke early, as usual and thought about it being good Friday, the cross, the sins I wished I had never done and thanked God again for His Son’s blood paying the price for my sins.
I had to work today, get our taxes done and wanted to go to the Good Friday service. I always take a 10 to 15 minute power nap on my lunch hour as it restores my strength to finish out the day but, I made it without resting today. So thankful!
I pre-arranged with my boss to leave for our tax appointment and to have my lunch hour changed so I could go to the service.
It all worked out. We waited until today to get our taxes done. Usually we get it done so much sooner, but I dreaded telling our accountant I changed my name and did not want to go there. I went in and after greeting this precious lady who has done our taxes for years, I told her I changed my name. I had imagined all kinds of scenarios but not the one I got. She took it in stride and talked about it and then told me she had always wanted to change her name and told me her name was a third generation name and what she goes by is a shortened version of her actual name. WOW!
She told me there is a model with my name. She went online and showed me who she meant. Lauren Hutton. Ha, Lauren H. is 72 years old, 14 years older than me. A Beautiful women, though I never followed her career, when I was young. My two favorite models were closer to my age. I told our tax lady their names and she said what I have always thought, they both have very messed up lives and being beautiful did not do them any good in relationships. But, talking so normally and her sharing how much she has always wanted to change her name made me feel so normal and made my name feel like it was mine, not just a label. Through out the hour long tax appointment she commented several times that Lauren matched me and she liked my name. It was so deeply felt and made my name a part of me and erased more of my name feeling like a label.
I can’t stand the old name and the history behind it.
I know it is legally not mine just like God made my own past sins legally not charged to my account. I am free from my sins, free from my childhood and free from all that horrible past.
Today is good Friday. I was able to go to the service. That they kept beating His head with the crown of thorns jammed into his skin, muscle and skull, stuck out the most of all the horror done to Him! That it pleased the Father to hurt Him like that….I have to understand that. I will read about it in the commentaries. That He is sitting, whole and well, beside the Father, as I write this, is total comfort. No more suffering for Him ever!
Also, our dear daughter who has had much physical illness contacted Mono, just like Ed. She had to cancel all of us going to their place for Easter, so we will be staying home this year. Pastor Bryan’s sermon will be good to hear, live. A friend may be able to come and I hope so as I would love for him to be able to hear it. God knows and has it all worked out. XO